Note to self


1. never undermine your parents’ ability to embarrass yourself in front of others. No matter the age you’ve got. No matter the age they’ve got!

2. even if you are polite, stop talking to old ladies. Ignore them completely! They’re going to ask you why you aren’t married yet, if you know how to cook, if you are going to find yourself a husband or just ruin your life all alone. They don’t care about your studies or career. If you’re not married, you don’t count! You can see pity on their faces. For you, i.e.!!!

3. when you bump into your ex-boyfriend make sure you watch your steps. Especially when in a skirt. Even if you look better than he does!

4. if you are in a park, with your music and your thoughts, don’t let that stranger sit next to you. Yes, there are 10 other benches left, but he’s going to sit his ass next to you and won’t stop talking unless you kill him.

5. also, avoid talking to crazy ladies dressed entirely in black from Moldavia. On the same bench! 😐 They start crying, and before you understand what’s going on, you are in the position of a psychologist. However, after you calm the spirits, they are going to speak about Romanian witchcraft and religion.

6. when people say you’re beautiful, and smart, and young, smile to them when they assume that you are happy, too! Let them think your life’s like that! Especially if they are old. Old people like to believe the young ones are happy all the times! 🙂

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